For the most part, since the COVID pandemic been, my immediate family has been lucky; no one in my immediate family or circle of friends has been affected by COVID. That was until last week.

Last Saturday, in a matter of 2 hours, I learned of 4 people that had come down with COVID. Two of them were our neighbors, a cousin, and a co-worker. Then Sunday night, I saw my great-aunt post on Facebook that her daughter was in the ICU with covid pneumonia. Today, my aunt posted that her daughter, my cousin, died.

My cousin was one of the friendliest and most welcoming people I knew. I always thought she was beautiful, and I learned many things from her by observing her. She was a deeply Christian woman, and her wedding was one of the first ones I remember attending. She and her husband chose not to get vaccinated.

My heart is in a million pieces now that she is gone. My heart also aches for her husband, parents, and sisters. Now my mom and I are facing the decision to go down for the funeral and comfort my aunt or stay here where we know relatively safe. Knowing that my family, who will be at her funeral, is not vaccinated, we will likely choose to stay here.

I hate that I even have to make that decision. When my great-uncle passed away in October, the decision to go down was easy – we knew everyone attending the family was vaccinated.

I wish that people would do what is best for humanity and get the vaccine – it will not kill you. After two shots and a booster, I can say getting vaccinated was nothing.

After almost two years of dealing with COVID, I am starting to lose my patience and get frustrated. It has derailed and made difficult so many things – finishing my dissertation, my IVF cycles, travel, and seeing friends and family. I think about doing something, such as running a race, yet I am fearful of what I might pick while in the running corals.

I am sad that I lost my cousin, but I am also sad because we all are starting to lose out on the quality of life.

Is the new standard wearing mask everywhere we go and avoiding crowds? If so, however, will that ever work. Also, is the new normal being on edge every time you have a stuffy nose, sore throat, or cough? That is no way to live.

I will continue to do what it takes to stay safe. I hope everyone else does as well.