The other day a friend of mine posted “the travel list challenge”, a list of 100 places to visit before you die.  Looking through the list I was reminded how many places I still need and want to visit.  I was also reminded of various travel adventures I’ve had:

1. The Alamo – Visited many times
2. Alhambra
3. Andros Island
4. Angel Fallas
5. Angkor Wat, Cambodia
6. Atlantic City Broadwalk
7. Ayers Rock
8. Big Ben – 2007
9. Bora Bora
10. British Museum
11. Canals of Amsterdam
12. Cathedral of Seville
13. Cave of Crystals
14. Christ the Redeemer
15. Clique Terre National Park
16. Colosseum
17. Crater Lake
18. Dead Sea
19. Death Valley
20. Devil’s Tower
21. Dome of the Rock
22. Easter Island
23. Edinburgh Castle
24. Eiffel Tower
25. Empire State Building – 2012
26. The Forbidden City, China
27. French Quarter – 2008
28. Galapagos Islands
29. Gateway Arch
30. Gettysburg Battlefield
31. Glacier Bay Basin
32. Glacier National Park
33. Glowworm Cave
34. Golden Gate Bridge
35. Grand Canal
36. Grand Canyon
37. Grand Mosque in Mecca
38. Great Barrier Reef
39. Great Mosque of Cordoba
40. Great Wall of China
41. Hagia Sophia
42. Hawaii Volcanoes
43. Holley Boulevard
44. Iguazu Fallas
45. Kiyomizu Dera
46. Kremlin
47. Lake Titicaca
48. Las Ramblas
49. Las Vegas Strip
50. The Leaning Tower of Pisa
51. Louvre Museum
52. Machu Picchu
53. Matterhorn
54. Mayan Pyramids of Chichen Itza
55. Metropolitan Museum of Art
56. Mount Everest
57. Mount Fuji
58. Mount Kilimanjaro
59. Mount Rushmore
60. Napa Valley
61. Ngotongoro Crater
62. Niagara Falls
63. Norte Dame Cathedral
64. Pacific Rim National Park
65. Pebble Beaches of Nice
66. Petra
67. Petronas Twin Towers
68. Portland Head Lighthouse
69. Puerto Del Sol
70. Pyramids of Giza
71. Redwood National Park
72. Rock of Gibraltar
73. Rocky Mountain National Park
74. Ruins of Athens
75. Ruins of Pompeii
76. Segrada Familia
77. Sears Tower
78. Sedlec Ossuary
79. Sistine Chapel
80. Smithsonian Institution 2008, 2012
81. Space Needle
82. St. Peter’s Basilica
83. Statue of Liberty
84. Stonehenge – 2007
85. Sydney Opera House
86. Taj Mahal
87. Temple of Golden Pavilion
88. Teotihuacan
89. Tian Tan Buddha
90. Time Square – 2012
91. Versailles
92. Victoria Falls
93. Wailing Wall
94. Walt Disney World Resort – 2010
95. The Washington Monument – 2008, 2012
96. White Cliffs of Dover
97. White House – 2008, 2012
98. Winchester Cathedral
99. Yosemite National Park
100.  Zion National Park

Training this week was basically a big flop….

Sunday, I only managed to get 4 miles plus weights.  Monday I had a lot going on and ended up not making it to the gym.  I did make it to the gym Tuesday and Wednesday.  Tuesday I did three miles plus weights and Wednesday I pulled off 10 miles in addition to weight training.  The rest of the week in terms of working out was a total blow out…  Thursday and Friday I had work related events in the evenings so I didn’t make it to the gym and Saturday I decided to get some extra rest so I didn’t make it to gym or marathon training before a day of activities started (a day that did not end until 2:00 am).

I am struggling with how to train for an event like a marathon and still be social and have a career.

To add insult to injury when I stepped on the scale I gained a few pounds.  My goal was to be nearing the 140s near my birthday at the end of the month but instead I find myself back in the 160s.

To be a good runner, I know I need to shed the extra weight, which I am trying to do during the training process.  This seems to be a bigger challenge that I thought possible.

I had a really good workout on Sunday, but after stepping on the scale I am just flat out down in the dumps today.  I am ready to give up.  Someone told once told me “you need to take a step back from working out when it is no longer fun for you.”  I can say it too that point but how do you take a step back but still meet your goals.  I still want to run the half marathon and I still want to lose the weight but I don’t want to feel like it is a dark cloud over me.  I would like the weight loss to come because of the training I am doing, but I am having a hard time balancing training and life.

Overall, this was a good week in terms of training.

Running … this week I ran around 29 miles. Sunday, I did 11 plus miles. I broke it up into two runs – the first I did around 4 miles and the second I did around seven. Overall, my body felt okay afterwards, but I was just completely wiped out. This run was also at the gym and not outside, but at least my legs are getting use to running for the period of time. Each day following, I did at least three miles; most days I did around three and half to 4 miles. On average, my runs are around 30 minutes. Again I am in doors and not outdoors. I noticed towards the beginning of the week my runs were quicker and almost effortless. As the week progresses, it seems as if they take more effort.

Saturday morning I missed marathon training group again. I just could not pull myself out of bed at 5:30 am to go running. My body said no. I slept a bit longer and then went to gym mid morning… big mistake the gym was packed.

Weight training continues to be hard. I think this can be contributed to three things. First, I have a phobia of weights. I feel like I know what I need to do but when it comes to doing it, I freeze. A great fear comes over me when I walk into the weight area at the gym and I forget what I know how to do. Working with trainer definitely made weight training easier for me. I had not seen the trainer for now three weeks and definitely can tell my weight training is missing it. It is as if I need someone to help with the correct form and encourage me. It also makes walking into the free weight area easier. I feel less intimidated with a partner than what I do when I am alone in the weight area. Finally, I think running is wearing my body down and I am too exhausted to focus on proper weight training. I keep thinking about switching it up but I never do it; it is habit that I run first and end up never changing up that habit.

Eating … is a subject I don’t even want to discuss. I honestly think I have forgotten how to eat correctly. My appetite is screwed up … to put it bluntly. I have been doing a lot of stress eating. When I say stress eating I meaning eating things I know I should not. One thing that does not make it easier is that on Friday nights our neighbors like to sit out, have a few drinks, and unwind. While I greatly enjoy this… this makes getting up and running Saturday a killer. I am also consuming a bunch of “empty” calories, which I do not need. I need to figure out away to not drink and still be social. The hot weather also makes me not want to not cook… This equates to fixing things that are easy but not healthy.

Overall, I am still questioning why I want to run a half-marathon. I think the bottom line is that it gives me something to work towards. I know I can do it. I think the training schedule is a little bit more than challenging than what I expected. When I say challenging, I think I mean more time consuming. Spending close to 2 hours at the gym, a day is starting to get old to put bluntly and I feel guilty about it but then I question what else I would be doing with my time and being at the gym seems to make sense. Working out with a trainer at least twice a week definitely helped to change things up a little, I hope getting back on course with the trainer will help.

I think this weekend I reached a mental melting point when it came to training. I was just done, I think I could have walked away from training from the gym and just could have been done with all. I think there was a point I didn’t care about losing anymore weight or training for the marathon or nothing. The thought of putting ear buds in my ears, getting all hot and sweaty, just flat turned my stomach. I pushed through and went to the gym and did a good workout.

Part of my mental melt down I think had to do with how I looked and felt. I had a bad flare up with acne over the weekend and going to gym and getting hot and sweaty makes my face burn and hurt even worse. Additionally, it makes me feel ugly and I did not want to be seen in public – even if it was at the gym. It’s a real battle for me right now… sometimes I just want to cry in middle of my runs because my face hurts (starts burning) so badly; that was case this weekend. After I came home and took a shower … it just burned so bad… nothing I seemed to put on calm it down and felt yucky (ugly). I think that all played into my mental melting point. I think the other part of the mental melting point came from loneliness at the gym. I long for a workout partner, someone to connect with while at the gym.

This week, my goal is do three plus miles each day again. I also need to do some speed work. I am going to continue to try to focus on weight. I am also trying to figure out what is going on with the trainer… we getting back on schedule or I am going to be trying to find a new schedule.

Why, I like you too….

I spy with my little blue eyes …

Ice Cream … now that is what I call dinner.

I love my blanket ….

I want to play with that.

Relaxing.

This is my bag.

Sleepy kitty.

New play toy.

Happy Birthday Grandpa … now give me cake!!!

I may be a Russian Blue, but Italian is a favorite.

Being a kitty is hard work… must nap.

They brought me food…. can’t wait must eat now!!!!!!

Naptop … It’s nice and warm..

Returning to the gym after a week off went as good as could be expected.  From Sunday, June 23 – Saturday, June 29 I ran around 25 miles. Getting back to weights was a little hard.  The other thing I struggled with all week was eating, I was constantly hungry and was having hard not eating everything in sight.  

I did not make it to the marathon training group due to a 5K on Saturday morning.  The 5K went well my time was 20:15 I am still not sure I how I completed in that time but I did.  My biggest complaint about the course was that there was no water stops and I did not bring my water belt, so I was greatly dehydrated afterwards.  

This week I am trying to focus on staying hydrated and on getting back on a solid weight training schedule, along with running. I am also trying to get my eating under control.

 In terms of weight I still have not stepped on the scale but I feel like I am starting just maintain and not lose and I need to get to losing again.  

 The last couple of weeks of training have been challenging.   Towards to the end of week 3 Allyn’s family came into town.  That week was spent preparing for them and my mom also had surgery that week which made training challenging.  Never the less, I managed to run every other day and got up to go the Saturday training program at the end of week 3 but after that, it was downhill.   Training got put to the side as I visited with his family.  

Week 4 was a complete washout … I was trying to get out of work early most that week so I was working through lunch (hardly eating and not eating correctly) and my evenings were dedicated to spending time with his family.  I think I mentally needed a break from the gym and working out.  However, the eating and drinking which occurred during that time off has taken a toll on my body.  It was not that I necessarily ate bad but the food was different and my schedule got interrupted.   In addition to not exercising or running correctly, I think my body was confused.   I don’t even want to see the week off did the scale so I am avoiding weighting myself for a while.

Yesterday, I return to the gym.  I did a 5.25 mile run and weights.     My goal for this week is to run and do weights every night.   I have to get my body back into workout mode.  The other challenge I am going have this week is that I need to focus on eating correctly.  My stomach is so torn up from an abnormal eating schedule and different food that I have to get back to some normalcy, although I am not sure how I am going to do that, every time I think about food or even attempt to put something in it, I get extremely queasy. 

I think having a week, made me realize that exercising and eating right/healthy is something I need – it is part of what keeps my sanity in check and makes a productive person.  I am starting to question running the marathon…. While it is something I want to do, I am fearful that I mentally and physically complete that distance.

Part of the purpose of starting this blog was to document my journey on this thing called life.  What I found over the last several months is that life often gets in the way and I do have time compile the post I would like.  However, when I labeled my blog Finding Amy, I did that because I want to reconnect with myself.  In the years after college I got disconnected with who I really was. Through a series of unfortunate events I realized that I was unhappy with the person I had become.   Since then I gotten back in touch with who I am and now know what I want out of life and most importantly, I am happy.    

What I want out of life is simple … I want to be happy and live life to the fullest.  I want to be surrounded by good, honest, hard working people.   I also want to be able to contribute to society by making it a better place for others.  

Over the last year (and longer) I have been living my life to fullest.  I am doing the things that make me happy – photography, running (working out), traveling, learning, cooking, and spending time with friends and family.   During this time I have been very lucky to meet a pretty awesome guy who has become my-everything and makes me happy like no one ever has. Best of all I have someone to share life with, which makes me happy.  

The one part of my life which I still  trying to flush out is my career.  While I enjoy working in archives and I am passionate about the archives, I am not sure if it completely satisfies me.  I think this is largely because the career field itself does not challenge me and there is little creativity.  For the past ten years it has been a “fun” career and I think that fun factor might no longer be enough for me.   I also believe that over the past ten years I have changed, matured, expanded my knowledge base and overall grown as a person.  Thinking back I might have leaped in head first at the beginning and now I am starting to feel burned out.  With all that said I am very thankful that I have an awesome job and I enjoy what I do, but I am beginning to question is it enough for me or is there something that could make me happier and that I would enjoy even more.  

The other day my mom made a comment to me … you should have went into design work, you always do such a good with those things, regardless if it is in yard, on the computer or just around the house.  I found that comment strange because that was always an interest of mine.  The favorite part of my current job is doing the digitization work … photography of artifacts, editing the photos, metadata and creating the databases.  Thinking back to my college career, after I decided that the medical / biology field was not for me I almost went the way of communication / graphic design but the idea of working in a museum drew me to majoring in history.  I actually never considered a career in archives until I did my internship in 2003 and discovered my natural aptitude for processing and indexing. I think the other part is that I never could find someone to mentor me in the communication/design field where as with the history/archives field I seemed to fit right in and found several great mentors.  The question in my head is, is this a case of “is the grass greener on the other side” or I am actually suited for a different career path?  Would a different career path make me even happier?   Do I just need to take a step back and regroup?  

Thinking about how my life has change I have to admit that my life is very good and I am thankful for all of my accomplishments and for what I have.  I have a loving family, a very special and caring person in my life, a good job, awesome friends, and I get to do things that make me happy.   I have a lot to be thankful for.  

Thus after reflecting I think it is time to step back and regroup …

Today marks a week since I started the training program for the half-marathon. 

This past week I did not do so well with training…  I was worn out and battling allergies.  I did better at getting the things I need together for running.  I got a water belt and a holder for my iPhone.  I also found some new running shorts (that fit).  

Today also marks the start of a break from the trainer (at the gym), for about two weeks.  This is mainly due to our schedules conflicting but I think it will be a good test for me.  He has provided me with a weight-training schedule, so I got to do is go to the gym and follow it.  I am hoping that this break will allow me to see how I can marry a running schedule with a weight-training schedule.

My goal for this week is to just train.  I have a lot going on for the next couple of weeks, so my challenge is going to be to find balance.

 

Meet the newest addition to our little family … Sophie.

Monday night I was cooking dinner and in walks Allyn cuddling a little kitten with a big smile on his face … the next thing you knew she was ours.  She is a playful bundle of fur and very good kitten.